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Most often times, we just assume that if the person is out of site, that is enough. We become stuck in a cycle that feels like it has no end, or if it does end, bound to repeat the same lessons with other human beings.
The truth is that if we don't actually burn up the energy and any attachment - to guilt, to anger, to being "done wrong", to good memories, to physical remnants, - that we will continue to carry that with us. This not only keeps us stunted in patterns and connected to the individual, but it also clutters up our energetic space and keeps the new from entering.
I skipped the blocking and the name changing and went for the deletion. Dressed in all white, my head wrapped in a turban and my war bonnet in place, on my sheepskin, surrounded by my gurus and my deities and burning sage and my cat's ashes and every magical thing that I have in my possession, I purged every last bit of energy left from him, from all of them, from all of it. If it gets worse or lingers, just trust the process is doing its thing and keep moving forward through it.For over a year, I've been enmeshed in what I'd call a really long tortuous break-up from a relationship that never existed. We met, we swooned, we fucked, we fought, we ended. You can close the ceremony by chanting "Kali Durge Namo Namah" which calls on the deities Kali and Durga, who are goddesses known to protect you from evil and to help to powerfully remove and cut through what is no longer serving you. And if I didn't do it right this time, if I just buried him in some explosive dramatic parting, even if he went away there would be another incarnation. When you are done, thank them, wish them well and send them love, and say goodbye.In my mind, I saw us both looking at each other at an intersection, smiling, and wishing the best for one another, and then turning around and walking away to our own destiny, with a big smile on our faces. Draw a bath and dump as much epsom salt into it as possible. You can take handfuls of it like I did and scrub your entire body, imagining as you scrub you are removing any residue of the relationship. Repeat as necessary but be careful not to attach to the process. You need to process the energy and the relationship…but you also need to mind attaching to the processing. With all this space, welcome the infinite possibilities.Then rinse off, pull the plug, and watch the water drain from the tub, imagining that all the energy from the relationship is rinsing down the drain along with it. The clear distinction is this - you are processing if you are letting what needs to move through you naturally move through you. You can simply repeat "I welcome infinite possibilities" as your mantra for the days following. It may not look like what you expect it to, but I promise it's there.